Who Is The Intervention For?

Posted by admin on Jan 7, 2012 in Blog | 1 comment

Silver Spoon Syndrome Turns Into Addiction

Who is the Intervention For? We tell parents not to blame themselves, that there is nothing they could have done that would have prevented their son or daughter from becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol. We do this to put them at ease, make them feel better; stabilize them enough to confront this troubling time.

The truth is under every sick addict, there is a sick family. Addiction is a family disease.

This is an extremely hot topic with Parents. There is nothing more that will make a parent defensive, angry, and sometimes downright belligerent, when we show them who the Intervention is really for.

As we peel back the layers of the addict’s behavior, we find the catalyst to the addictive behavior every single time.

Can’t Let Go

Most people believe that addiction comes from an abusive home where some form of trauma existed. These people assume right, but the trauma is when the Child and Parent cannot let go of the giving, nurturing, and protecting phase of development.

 Silver Spoon Sydrome (Frustration leads to anger, which leads to misdirected anger)

1. Parents conceive an infant
2. Parents love their infant
3. Parents serve their infant day and night
4. Infant turns into Toddler. Parent keeps giving, nurturing, and protecting
5. Toddler turns into adolescent. Parent keeps giving, nurturing, and protecting
6. Adolescent turns into Teen and now Teen expects giving, nurturing, and protecting
7. Teen turns into Adult and Adult continues to expect giving, nurturing, and protecting.
8. Parent wants to break free but cannot. Adult gets frustrated, then angry, and then misdirects their anger back on themselves or their Parents.
9. Adult becomes an addict.

The Intervention then becomes about helping the family heal. It’s about strengthening the family, providing them deep insight and awareness around what caused this behavior.

Very often in cases like this, the addict will have labels. They are ADD, or ODD, or Depressed. Conventional Mental Heath Care seeks labeling, as if the label gives closure. We get it, but this is only the tip of the iceberg.

A family will scramble, and look everywhere for answers outside of themselves. It’s hard to be objective when THE PROBLEM IS YOU.

So Who Is The Intervention For? Intervention is for the family.

Confronting your loved one who is struggling with addiction, getting a commitment out of them, and escorting them to treatment, although this is our goal, this is the cherry on top.

Intervention needs to give closure to the family, to enable them to say they did everything in the power to try and help, but today we take a stand, and this is the line in the sand.

Intervention is for the family to understand where these behaviors originated, it’s about codependency, it’s about enabling, it’s about communication, it’s about dynamics, it’s about manipulation, and it’s about each other’s needs.

Intervention is a systemic approach to healing the whole family. Your addicted loved one is only the catalyst to help open this process.

Intervention is challenging. You may feel vulnerable, exposed, and under attack. It’s all part of change.

Intervention is a change for the better.

In closing, although families are ecstatic when their son or daughter chose to enter a drug and alcohol treatment program, the big hugs comes when we help the family heal.

So Who Is The Intervention For? ©ISC

Anger Isn’t That Bad, After All

Posted by admin on Dec 5, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

A Guide To Where An Addict’s Anger Comes From

You will learn in this article that Anger isn’t that bad, after all. 

Since this is an addiction related blog, we will stick within the field of addiction and how anger relates to addiction.

Why are addicts so darn angry? It’s a common question we get as Intervention Professionals and it’s that very same anger that scares families half to deaf, so much so that in many cases it prevents the family from confronting their loved one to encourage them to get treatment for their addiction.

This article is not about anger management or exploring the top ten tools for solving anger. If your anger is starting to disrupt your life and the lives of those around you, here is a great anger resource site that can help you manage your anger issues. Moose Anger Management

However, if you are struggling with an addiction or you know someone who is, this is a guide to help you understand where this anger is coming from and why anger isn’t that bad, after all. 

We explored frustration in yesterday’s article and how it stems from when we are infants and how it is a tool to get what we want.

Well anger follows frustration. Although many anger management course come from a place that anger is bad and must be harnessed, then why do we have anger? Isn’t it a form of rogue programming, or is installed for a reason, much like a pressure valve of a boiler. If it didn’t do it’s job correctly and release steam, KABOOM!

Anger is not abnormal behavior as originally discovered by Dr. Maxwell Maltz.

It was discovered that anger was very necessary in reaching a goal. That we must go after a goal in an aggressive fission, instead of defensively or tentatively.

In this aggressive pursuit to achieve our goals, emotional steam as described by Dr. Maltz builds up. The problem as he sees it, is when we are unable or prevented in achieving these goals. This leads to the anger precursor – frustration. As described in yesterday’s article, frustration as an infant got us results. If we cried for a bottle of milk, the magic bottle would swoop in and fill out needs. In adult hood, this is not the case.

This steam as Matz puts it begins to swell. The more often your goals are not achieved, the more the boiler begins to fill up.

Anger is bad when it has no way to vent, and it becomes misdirected. This is when anger becomes explosive and harmful to those around us.

We’ve all observed misdirected anger. I didn’t get the promotion at work, so I yell at my wife or I was in s traffic jam and late to a very important lunch and I scream at my dog.

Addiction Is Misdirected Anger

In the field of addiction, where this model is relevant is that addiction is a form of self harm. So instead of misdirected anger at others, we misdirect our anger inwards at ourselves – and you fall down a destructive path, and you don’t know why.

The scope of this article has no intention of discussing healing modalities and treatment methods but for the sake of awareness and understanding – addiction treatment should start by analyzing – ‘What are you angry at?’

But You Said; Anger Isn’t That Bad, After All

Convert anger into aggressiveness, and use that healthy aggressiveness to achieve your goal, then yes, anger ins’t that bad, after all. In fact, it is a healthy way to vent this emotional steam that builds up in our pursuit of accomplishment.

It can be used as a tool, be aware of it, use it to your advantage, and don’t let failure consume you. Keep chasing your dreams, with healthy anger as your new friend.

Anger Isn’t That Bad, After All ©

Interventions

Posted by admin on Dec 4, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

Interventions are the most loving, compassionate gesture anyone could every make towards another human being.

Whether it is towards a family member, friend, colleague, or acquaintance. Interventions stare in the face of adversity, and state that no matter what. No matter if you kick and scream. No matter is you manipulate or lie. No matter if you run out of the room. No matter if you hate me, I did everything in my power to try and help you, regardless if you see it that way or not, and through my decision to Intervene, it says; I love you with all my heart, and although this process was very, very hard on me, I did it because I am not willing to stand by any longer as you continue down this destructive path. I am not willing to stand by as you kill yourself. I love you, and I want you to get better more than I want to be your friend.

Happiness Does Not Lie In The Future, It Lies In The Present

Most of us understand that the human mind has a tendency to either dwell in the past or dwell in the future and rarely does it focus it’s attention on the here and now, but your ability to escape the pain and heartache you are experiencing is in present time.

What does any of this have to do with Interventions?

Think about it. What is the one thing that prevents you from facing your love one and confronting them with the truth? The truth that they are sick and they need help.

Generally it is fear. Fear about how they are going to react.

As you put your attention on the thought of Intervention, although you have good intentions, and although the evidence in front of you is saying ‘you better do something now before something bad happens!’

You stop, and you stop because something in your past is tellling you that your loved one is going to react a certain way in the future.

And then doubt creeps in and then you do as you have always done – nothing. When you are live in this loop of making future decisions based on the past, you can never ever confront the present.

Dont’ Let The Addiction Win

Think of Addiction as a crafty maniacal evil mastermind.Try and separate you loved one from the addiction. It’s as if your loved one if possessed.

Addiction reside in the realm of the subconscious, and the subconscious will do anything to survive.

Your fear about your loved one’s reaction are real. Yes they may kick, they may yell, they may get angry, and they may leave, but how is any of that worse than the alternative?

Addiction does not get better magically on its own because it wants to survive. It’s that powerful. It will try and defend itself. This is why we recommend hiring an Experienced Professional to help you deal with the brunt of their reaction. We know how to handle it.

Your Adult Son Or Daughter Is Not An Infant

Feelings of discomfort, and subsequent angry behavioral outbursts are ways of solving problems we learned as ‘infants.’

If an infant is hungry, it cries. A bottle of milk magically appears out of thin air and all is well.

Children learn to get their way by being uncomfortable and reacting in discomfort because the Parent swoops in to the ease the pain. All they have to do is feel frustrated and the problem is instantly solved.

Although this works in childhood, this does not work in adulthood, yet the relationship between child and parent is established. I cry and moan, and my Mommy and Daddy will help me.

THE ADDICTION knows this. It knows how to manipulate the situation to get what it needs to survive.

Stop Loving your addicted loved one to death, put an end to this cycle, create healthy boundaries and give your loved one the most loving gesture you could ever give to an addiction. Give them the gift of an Intervention.

Ryan K. Bennett, ISC Consulting Group ©

Intervention Services

Posted by admin on Dec 3, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

Intervention Services

Interventions 101

Intervention Services  are general sought after this following sequence.

A family member is using drugs or alcohol, they won’t stop, and they get angry when you broach the subject with them. They stomp their feet, they sneer, growl, and tell us everything we want to hear. One day enough is enough and we decide to do an Intervention, so we call up Intervention Services Canada and they show up at our door and convince your addicted family member to attend a drug rehab program of our choosing.Everything is right again…

Stop the presses!

It’s a Family Intervention

While this above account is accurate and is natural progression of Intervention Services, there is much more to the story, the process, and everything that is involved.

Most people think that Interventions are only about convincing their loved one to go to drug and alcohol treatment, and although this is the cherry on top, this is not the entire process.

It depends on a case to case basis, but generally, an Intervention Professional conducting Intervention Services will spend over 20+ hours with the family well before the Intervention Professional every meets their addicted loved one face to face.

Intervention is a family healing process. Addiction is a family disease, and the Intervention Professional must understand all of the family dynamics well before he ever faces your loved one.

Critical Intervention Services

So what are some of these critical intervention services that must happen before you ever face your loved one?

• An Intervention Professional must create a clinical assessment profile of all the key players involved and understand their relational connections.
• An Intervention Professional must conduct interviews with all of these key players
• An Intervention Professional must arrange a strategy meeting so no stone is left unturned
• A Communication strategy must be developed before the Intervention
• An understanding of Traumas, Beliefs, State of Mind, Crisis Scale, Medical Diagnosis, and Overall Willingness must be prepared before the Intervention.
• The Intervention Professional must spot any weak links (Enablers, Codependents, etc) who could possibly derail the Intervention
• A Family Counselling Session must be conducted.
• Education Workshops on Enabling, Codependency, Stages of Addiction, and Communication must be presented by the Intervention Professional.
• Coaching, Letters, and Role Playing must all be supervised by the Intervention Professional.

So as you can see, there is plenty of thought and energy that is put into the Intervention well before anyone decides to confront your loved one.

A Well Prepared Intervention

A well prepared Intervention generally means a successful Intervention. An Intervention that is that is not thought through, with too many holes and to many undetermined outcomes leaves holes and escape routes for your addicted loved one.

We cannot stress this enough. A well prepared Intervention increases your chance of the Intervention being successful ten fold and more importantly, it turns an Intervention into a Family Healing Circle rather that an ambush that only leads to resentment, misery, and relapse.

Do it right the first time. Intervention Services are a vital part of any any addiction healing process.

If you want to hire a Professional Interventionist to guide you through this process or you would like to arrange a free consultation, contact Intervention Services Canada.

Intervention Services ©

How Does Failure Work For You?

Posted by admin on Dec 2, 2011 in Blog | 1 comment

Using Failure To Get What You Want In Life

We all like failure as much as we like a punch in the face.

Learning to use failure to get what you want in life is one of the most important tools one can ever learn in their lifetime, and the reason why is we fail way more than we succeed. By honing your awareness around what works for you and what doesn’t, what strengthens you over what weakens you is very important for your survival.

When I lecture on this subject, that you can use failure to get what you want in life, I hear the moans, and some even look at me like I’ve grown another head.

What’s a common batting average in baseball? Let’s say 300 is a solid average. This means that a Professional baseball player, an elite athlete who earns millions of dollars a year to play a sport they love, FAILS 7 out of 10 times.

Is it uncomfortable? Yes, absolutely, but it’s meant to be, just like PAIN is meant to be; uncomfortable. Where we. as a modern day society. have gone wrong is we have learned to JUDGE PAIN as BAD! Pain is not bad. Human biology has a built in red light system, a warning system that Medical Doctors call symptoms. We regard these symptoms as Bad. Headaches, fever, chills, sore bones and muscles but in reality these signals are for the benefit of the person. It’s a warning system for the person to take corrective action.

This is exactly the same when it comes to failure. Failures are experiences for you to be able to auto correct your course. To auto-correct like the baseball player who hits 3 out of 10 balls and is considered a premier athlete.

Where our programming truly fails is when we focus on the failures instead of the successes. Failures help us auto-correct, but successes is what helps us determined our abilities, strengths, and powers, this is when we truly flourish.

We never ever flourish when we are focusing on the failures and in fact it corrupts our system. It deflates us, we loose confidence, self-esteem, self acceptance and when this happens, it’s very hard to get back on track or to re-program, if you will.

So how do you use failure to get what you want out of life, how can failure work for you? Don’t label it as good or bad, just identify it, and correct yourself. Dwell on yoursuccess and achievements from your past and more success will manifest in this realm of fundamental consciousness. Outflow = Inflow. Check what you are putting out energetically and you can predict what will come back in.

This is very relevant to the field of addiction and substance abuse. If you felt no pain, then how would you know when it was time to change your behaviours?

If your addiction was all a barrel of laughs, then you would never change, and most likely die in a puddle of vomit.

So how does failure work for you in the addiction world? It tells you when enough is enough either through physical ailments, financial loss, relational upset, and Family Intervention.

The good news is one thing follows failure for certain every time, and yes you might strike out a few times to get there.

How Does Failure Work For You? ©

Benjamin C. Rathorne (Professional Health Blogger)

Alcohol Intervention Tips

Posted by admin on Nov 30, 2011 in Blog | 2 comments

How To Confront An Alcoholic To Get Help

Denial for an alcoholic , in no other words, is downright insane. Your loved one could be drinking over 60 ounces of alcohol a day, health in serious decline, relationships in disarray, bank account depleted and still an alcoholics first line of defense is always as follows.

1. I have it under control
2. I can do it on my own
3. I’ll get help in a few months
4. It’s not that bad

And as family members, although we see a dying person in front of our eyes, our need to believe our loved is overshadowed by truth and rational thinking. We accept, even though they may only have a few days to live, that indeed ‘They can do it on their own.’

We have written this article on Alcohol Intervention Tips because we see how many misunderstood concepts around Alcohol Intervention there are.

An Alcoholic Must Hit Rock Bottom

This is the most overused, misunderstood concept of alcoholism and addiction ever. It’s a convenient way to stick your head in the sand, hope for the best, and sleep well at night.

We all hope and pray that our loved one, one day, will magically wake up out of bed full of piss and vinegar and declare to the world that ‘Today is the day. Today is the last day I will ever be an alcoholic!’

In reality, this never happens. Statistically, in fact, well under 1% of alcoholics accomplish alcohol recovery on their own.

Definition of Rock Bottom

The true definition of rock bottom means that there is a defining moment in the addicts life that acts as a motivator towards the ‘decision for change’. It is up to his or her support circle to help their loved one have this defining moment. The moment where they have no other options, but to get help and change. This is defined as ‘Rock bottom.’

Left to their own devices, and alcoholic rarely will ever change their own mind.

I.E. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, Mommy does my laundry, and my bills are paid by Dad. Why am I going to quit alcohol, when it feels so darn good?

Here is a list of people who most commonly are involved in the Alcohol Intervention Process.

• Parents and family members
• Spouses
• Friends, family friends
• Employers and co-workers
• Physicians, therapists, and counselors
• Coaches, guidance counselors, mentors, or teachers
• Spiritual or religious advisors

Nobody wants to do this, but it’s up to you. I call you out, I encourage you, and hopefully inspire you. It’s not okay to stick your head in the sand. If you are are this above list, and you have a loved one who is struggling with alcoholism – it’s time to do something about it.

Alcohol Intervention Tips

1. Hire a professional or at least someone who has long-term sobriety
2. Always have a treatment solution prepared beforehand. Drug Rehab Resource Helpline
3. Stay in control.
4. Never try and convince your loved one to go to treatment.
5. Let them know they are safe, there is hope, there is help, and there is a way out.
6. Avoid attacking or telling them anything
7. Speak from you heart. How you are in pain and how they have hurt you. (No one can argue with that)
8. This is a healing circle not an ambush
9. Prepare your consequences. They must be motivating and they must be believable.
10. Prepare and deliver your letters.
11. Pack bags and always leave for treatment that day. NO EXCEPTIONS!

Alcoholism is a disease folks, a disease that won’t allow you to admit you have a disease. It’s up to you, your loved one’s support circle to do something about this. If you don’t feel that you can do this on your own, we highly reccomend calling one of our Expereince Alcohol Intervention Professionals.

Healing can begin, but only until you agree to help them hit ‘rock bottom.’

Call Now For Help. 1-800-985-3418

Alcohol Intervention Tips ©

Intervention Canada | FEAR & DOUBT!

Posted by admin on Nov 10, 2011 in Blog | 0 comments

Intervention Canada | Fear & Doubt

If I only listened to you. If I only moved forward with Intervention Canada, Erin would still be alive! – Erin’s Mother.

As an Interventionist in Canada, this is the call we fear the most, but it is also the call that fuels us to continue. It’s calls like these that ignite that spark within us to continue Intervention Canada, and to carry the flag that addiction kills. Addiction kills inspiration, it kills motivation, it kills family dynamics, it kills pocketbooks, and it kills physically, and YES it can happen to anyone.

It’s not easy dealing with distraught family’s in crisis day in and day out, but we do it because it is a destructive force that tears good people and good family’s apart.

What I’ve come to learn over the years overseeing Intervention Canada is that a Parent or loved one’s own fears and doubts is the #1 reasons why an addict doesn’t get help. Not because the addict is resistant to help. Let me repeat this…

The #1 reason an addict does not get help is because of their Parent or Family Members own fears and dbouts, NOT because they are resistant!

Addiction is a family disease. It’s easy to point our fingers at the obvious one. The wrecking ball of destruction, our addicted loved is, but as Parents, stop asking yourself ‘What did I do wrong?’ and ask yourself. ‘What can I do right?’

Professional Interventions

When we get a call to conduct an Intervention, most have seen the show on A&E Intervention or the new Canadian version of the show on Slice Intervention Canada, and believe that we are there to storm in, save the day, and convince their loved on to go to treatment. Although this is the cherry on top, this is not why we are there.

We are there primarliy, to hold the family accountable, to educate, to strengthen organically, and to allow the healing to begin.

Anyone, on any given day, can show up and make some pretty convincing arguements as to why an addicted person should go to drug rehab, and in many cases the addicted might even agree, but in my expereince this only leads to resentment, and many addicted arrive at drug rehab only to leave shortly thereafter.

Many families call in their Uncle who has been sober for 10 years, or they ask their clergyman, or maybe even try and do it on their own, and althought you might determine your success based on your loved one’s acceptance to attend treatment – this is not an Intervention. Not a professional intervention in Canada, anyway.

Trust The Intervention Process

As Parents we all want to save our children, but when it comes to addiction, in many cases, you are too emotionally connected. You cannot remain objective. No different than if I am a lawyer, and I have my own legal issues, I will hire an attorney to represent me. I am too close to the case. I cannot be objective. Same with Intervention. You hire us as your barrier, as your guide, your strength, and your professional.

Hiring a professional Interventionist in Canada says you mean business. It also says that we are done with our loved one manipulating us, and we are done with letting our fears and doubts take us over.

You hire a professional Interventionist to hold you accountable to your intentions. So that you affirm that line in the sand, and that you stick to your consequences and bottom lines, because if you don’t – your son or daughters life could depend on it.

It’s gut check time!

There’s no two ways about it. 98% of Interventions in Canada become derailed becuase Parents allow their fears and doubts to consume them. ‘What if he/she gets mad?’ ‘What if they don’t want to go to treatment?’ ‘I can’t kick him/her out.’ ‘What if they never speak with me again?’ ‘What if they don’t need treatment?’ ‘What if they arrive, and then leave only days later?’ ‘Maybe they’ll get better on their own.’ ON AND ON IT GOES.

Stop the insanity! There are 3 steps to overcoming your fears and doubts about an intervention.

Step. 1 – Ask yourself; ‘What’s the alternative?’ Do something, and give yourself the peace of mind that you did EVERYTHING IN YOUR POWER to try and help you loved one or DO NOTHING, and hope for the best.

Step. 2 – Check your gut feeling. In my experience, the fact that you are reading this, or picked up the phone and called, means that your gut it telling you, you need to do something. Any reaction other than moving forward after this guy feeling is FEAR AND DOUBT consuming you.

Step. 3 – Hire an Interventionist. We will put out your FEAR AND DOUBT fires and make sure your loved one gets the help they need.

That’s it. I know it’s hard, but nothing in life worth achieving is easy. As cliche as that may sound, when it comes to addiction, nothing could be more true. Do yourself a favour and hire one of our Intervention Professionals and put your fears and doubts at bay.

Intervention Canada | FEAR & DOUBT! ©